So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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