For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
