I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
