is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
