Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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