do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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