I wish you could order shots online.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
