No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
