Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
