he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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