Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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