So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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