I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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