I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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