Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
