i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
