Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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