My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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