I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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