I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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