By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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