i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Terrible idea I love it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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