i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
