I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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