Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm at about main and main street
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize