She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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