are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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