Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize