I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize