xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
