I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
