4 words: hood of his car
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
