Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I had to cum in my sink.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
