i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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