wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
