Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm always down for nudity.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
