You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
of course. lets lasso hookers.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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