Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
