When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
