just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
