so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
