I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
