wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she told me i tasted like america
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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