mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
