Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
