She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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