oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
