All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
