batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
