Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
