I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
