If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
