woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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