I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A+ Viking dick
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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