oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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