I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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