I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
