Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
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In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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